We human beeings have a weird habit of always knowing the truth. Right? We know how to interpret everything the right way, know peoples intentions and know what’s best for anyone.
Uhmmm, not exactly.
It’s hard to admit, but facing it, is the only way to deal with it: We don’t know everyting. And we surely don’t interpret everything the right way. And most of all: We’re absolutely prone to premature judging.
Facing the truth, which we actually already know but are to proud to admit, is a good start into changing a whole lot of things. Premature judging is far worse and ugly than we all think. It’s the cause of a thousand problems, we’re not even aware of because those happen on a daily basis, they are normal problems, we live with and wich make our lifes harder than ever but we don’t even try to fight them. And guess why? Because they aren’t our fault. They occur because of the failure of other people, because of their immatureness. At least that’s what we think. Or better, what we think to know. We don’t even question it.
The truth is, though, we’re wrong. Because all of those little problems are our own fault. Sounds harsh? Well, it is. Thanks to premature judging.
Remember the little fight you had with your boyfriend about why he was late? He told you he had to help his friend with something. Instead of understanding, you were mad, didn’t believe him and if you did you accused him of liking his friend more than he likes you. His fault, not yours, right?
I know, I know. You felt sad and angry. But that’s not because of what he’s done but because of your premature judging of the situation.
So how do you deal with it?
Premature judging is very hard to deal with, but it’s not impossible. And facing it is the first step towards avoiding it at all.
After knowing you just overreacted (which is hard to admit, I know) the next step into the right direction is to overthink the whole situation. Ask yourself why is this a bad thing? Why are you mad? Why do you feel the way you feel? What is the bad thing that happened?
After answering all those questions you should see that the situation isn’t that bad (admit it!).
Still not satisfied?
Think about what you would do in his situation. Would you leave your friend alone with her problem? Probably not (or you’re a miserable friend!), right?
I am quite aware that it isn’t easy avoiding premature judging or even admitting it, but as with nearly everything, you can learn it. Trying to deal with it is the best thing you can do and after a while you won’t even judge a little bit before knowing what’s actually going on!
In my opinion the little things are what make life enjoyable and it’s also the little things that are able to destroy a lot. And to be honest, I’ll rather let them make my life easier than harder, what do you think?